While it’s not as entertaining as what “the FBI” sent me in 2008, the million dollar scam victims grant I recently received from Obama’s Foundation (based in the UK, right where Obama would set up shop I’m sure) has a high enough irony quotient (not least because of the trillions that Obama has been flinging around since he took office) to be worth sharing.
It laid out so well in my spam folder that I decided to share a screen shot rather than just the text.
I got the exciting news that I am a new uncle again as my brother and his wife had their new baby girl this morning. I expect she’s beautiful but I haven’t seen any pictures yet. On the other hand, I thought it was very funny to see the baby statistics for Katherine right above a tax advice disclaimer – as pictured above.
Congratulations to Katherine … and Mom and Dad … and Jack (big brother) and Mariann (big sister).
Speaking of things which are virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy (in other words, things that we seek after) here is something worth watching and sharing:
Apparently the FBI just prevented me from receiving a large transfer of money from Nigeria -but I can have the money if I prove that it is not connected to drug or terrorist activities. I just have to share:
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.
601 4TH STREET, NW.
WASHINGTON, DC. 20535. USA.
ATTENTION FUND BENEFICIARY,Dear Sir,
This is an official advice from the FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI). It has come to our notice that some certain individuals has used your name as the beneficiary of funds worth Millions of United States Dollars from Nigeria.
. . .
until you can be able to provide us with a Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST)document within 3 days from the local bank that authorize the transfer from where the funds was transferred from to certify that the funds that you are about to receive are terrorist/drug free or we shall have cause to impound the Payment and subsequent prosecution.
We shall release the funds immediately we receive this legal documents and make sure that you get your payment without any further delay.
——————————
——————————————————————
We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the amount involved. . . You are to forward the document to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you do not have it,let us know so that we will direct you where to obtain the document and send to us so that we will ask the bank holding the funds, to go ahead and credit your account immediately.An FBI Identification Record and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment, naturalization, or military service.
These Condition Is Valid until 31st of November, 2008, after we shall take actions on canceling the payment and then charge you for illegally moving funds out of the country under the jurisdiction of the United Nations. Guarantee: Funds will be released on confirmation of the document.
————————————————————————————————-
Final Instruction;
1. Credit payment instruction: Irrevocable credit guarantee.
2. Beneficiary has full power when validation is cleared.
3. Beneficiaries bank in U.S.A., can only release funds.
4. Upon confirmation from the World Bank / United nations.
5. Bearers must clear bank protocol and validation request.
————————————————————————————————. . .
We are sorry for what you have gone through and we want to provide justice.
Yours Sincerely,
Robert S. Mueller, III.
FBI Director.
I really need to hurry if I am to get this DIST by the 31st of November to redeem my millions before “These Condition Is Valid” No Longer.
I was telling Laura about this and she said I should share the story.
We love playing hide and seek as a family. The kids get into it and Isaac and Mariah level the playing field by staying with Laura and I so we can’t just hide alone where the kids will never find us. We were having a game (I can’t remember if it was Monday or Tuesday last week) and on the last round Alyssa was the seeker. I had Isaac with me and Savannah was staying pretty close as well. When Alyssa came looking I was in our bedroom with nothing but Isaac to hide behind – I thought I would be seen for sure. Luckily Alyssa never looked towards us because she was focused on trying to get the bathroom door opened with Savannah holding it closed.
After she left the room Isaac got distracted with something else (probably chasing Alyssa – I can’t remember) and I hopped over the bed and laid down on the floor behind the bed. A few minutes later after Alyssa had found Mariah and Savannah had admitted to being found Savannah was looking for me and Laura (those who are found generally try to help the seeker – or at least they try to locate the rest of us). I heard Savannah come into our room thinking I was under the bed (it’s hollow under the bed and the bed skirt goes to the floor). When I was not under the bed she crawled right on through and out the far side where I was. She saw me and giggled.
Less than ten seconds later Isaac popped out from under the bed where he had followed Savannah. He then proceeded to follow Savannah as she left the room – proud to have found me. About 30 seconds after that I heard Alyssa come into the room and crawl the exact same path as the other two. Having finally been found by the seeker I just had to laugh at the sight of three of the kids crawling out like ghosts from under the bed right next to my head.
In one of the rare bits of SPAM that gets through to me I found the following poorly written discounts:
Should I believe that these discounted items are selling at the higher price, or at the crossed out price? I guess these spammers aren’t making enough money to pay for a copy editor.
Over the course of this conference, while I was staying away from home I took note of the fact that I seem to get more carefree when I’m away from home. I act more like a teenager, without a burden of care and responsibility. It seems that I am not alone in this – or else everyone else is generally more carefree than I am by nature (that is a possibility). For example, an interchange with one of my co-workers last night. In response to something I said (which I can’t remember):
Michelle: Don’t get cute.
Me: I’m already cute.
Michelle: Don’t get smart.
Me: I already am.
Michelle (simultaneous with my statement): Stop.
Michelle: Don’t be a turd. . . Go.
Me: . . .
Me (after 15 seconds): See, I told you I was smart.
So now I am left to wonder, is this change of apparent personality good, bad or neutral?
Apple ported their browser, Safari, to Windows and released a public beta this week. Having heard great things about Safari from a web-standards perspective I got it and had a look. Aside from the standards compliance it was just a browser – nice, but nothing compelling about it. Then this afternoon a window popped up on my screen:
Less than one week and Safari has its first security patch (it was cracked within hours) – I thought to myself “It’s genuine Windows software.”
Last night right after I got in bed, Laura and I have a fun little interchange:
Laura: Can I make one last Mother’s Day request?
David: Sure.
L: Can you go shut the window in the girls’ room?
D: Good thing you asked now. (as I get out of bed)
L: How many minutes do I have?
D: Nineteen.
After I was back in bed Laura got up. Soon I hear from the darkness:
L: How many minutes do I have?
D: Six.
L: Can you help me? . . .
This 2008 election is already shaping up to be a different animal from previous presidential elections as far as how campaigns are run and how the media is involved. Over at Oval Office 2008 comes the suggestion that a candidate could make “an announcement previewing his pre-announcement of his intent to announce that he will announce.” I’d say that pretty well covers our news coverage of presidential candidates. That caused me to chuckle because those who follow politics pretty well know who is (or will be) running and those who don’t follow politics almost certainly don’t care this far in advance. The only reason I care about the announcements is that I use that (or rather, the formal FEC filing that goes with it) as the line of demarcation between those I study for endorsement and those I don’t.