Thank You FBI

Apparently the FBI just prevented me from receiving a large transfer of money from Nigeria -but I can have the money if I prove that it is not connected to drug or terrorist activities. I just have to share:

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.
601 4TH STREET, NW.
WASHINGTON, DC. 20535. USA.
ATTENTION FUND BENEFICIARY,

Dear Sir,

This is an official advice from the FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI). It has come to our notice that some certain individuals has used your name as the beneficiary of funds worth Millions of United States Dollars from Nigeria.

. . .

until you can be able to provide us with a Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST)document within 3 days from the  local bank that authorize the transfer from where the funds was transferred from to certify that the funds that you are about to receive are terrorist/drug free or we shall have cause to impound the Payment and subsequent prosecution.

We shall release the funds immediately we receive this legal documents and make sure that you get your payment without any further delay.
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We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the amount involved. . . You are to forward the document to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you do not have it,let us know so that we will direct you where to obtain the document and send to us so that we will ask the bank holding the funds, to go ahead and credit your account immediately.

An FBI Identification Record and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment, naturalization, or military service.

These Condition Is Valid until  31st of November, 2008, after we shall take actions on canceling the payment and then charge you for illegally moving funds out of the country under the jurisdiction of the United Nations. Guarantee: Funds will be released on confirmation of the document.
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Final Instruction;
1. Credit payment instruction: Irrevocable credit guarantee.
2. Beneficiary has full power when validation is cleared.
3. Beneficiaries bank in U.S.A., can only release funds.
4. Upon confirmation from the World Bank / United nations.
5. Bearers must clear bank protocol and validation request.
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. . .

We are sorry for what you have gone through and we want to provide justice.

Yours  Sincerely,
Robert S. Mueller, III.
FBI Director.

I really need to hurry if I am to get this DIST by the 31st of November to redeem my millions before “These Condition Is Valid” No Longer.

About David

David is the father of 8 extremely organized children (4 girls / 4 boys) who is constantly seeking answers to tough questions related to parenting, education and politics while moonlighting for 40 hours each week as a technology professional. He also enjoys cooking, gardening, and sports.
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Comments

3 Responses to Thank You FBI

  1. Lizzen says:

    One of my favorite phrases was “under the jurisdiction of the United Nations.” Since when did the U.N. get a jurisdiction, and where is it? Funny stuff.

  2. David says:

    I guess this just goes to show that even spam can serve a purpose when it’s done “right” – it’s good for a laugh as it passes through the spam folder.

  3. Pingback: Rich with Irony | The Zion Chronicle

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