Categories
culture

Responsibility as the Core of Manliness

Manly Ideals
Photo by Meg Stewart

In February I asked this question: “What one word most closely encapsulates what it means to be a man?” In my mind the word was “responsibility” and while there were other good responses to the question they all fell in that same vein. When JP and Bryce first began reviewing lists of the essential traits of manhood on the Sons of Adam podcast I noticed that JP kept calling out how the various traits each came down to a man taking some form of responsibility.

After comparing my list with Bryce’s list and again after JP’s list was discussed, I decided that I would like to call out the element of responsibility in each item of each list. I’ll explain and group items together as it seems appropriate.

Categories
culture life

JPs list

The Sons of Adam podcast this week covered JP’s list of the traits of manhood. I thought it was a good list which helps me further flesh out my understanding of what defines a man. I’m recording JP’s list here for future reference because I expect to come back and review it and to use it in some upcoming posts.

I don’t intend to offer any commentary on JP’s list here but I am going to publicly encourage JP to get a blog where he can share his thoughts directly anytime he has thoughts that he thinks deserve more than passing consideration. It would be a great complement to the podcast.

JP’s List

  1. Become an adult i.e. a responsible, productive member of society
  2. Develop a manly attitude: including
    • reverence for motherhood and womanhood
    • defaults to:
      • rejecting passivity
      • accepting responsibility
      • leading courageously
  3. Become a protector i.e. stand in front and take the brunt of uncertainty—providing safety for others, especially your family
  4. Become a provider: men HAVE to work. (Of course the quantity and type of work may be dependent upon physical and/or intellectual limitations for each individual.)
  5. Become a patriarch for your family
    • spiritual leader of your home
    • the one who directs the work of the priesthood in the home
Categories
culture

Fatherhood vs Manhood

Manhood Ideals
Photo by Jim Larrison

When Bryce and JP reviewed Bryce’s list of “what makes a man a man” I found myself thinking that Bryce’s list felt narrow in that it seemed to focus on fatherhood as if a man isn’t a man unless he is a father. My gut reaction was that a man can be a man (even a good man) without ever being a father or even wishing to be a father. The difference between my thinking and Bryce’s was made clear when my list was discussed on the podcast and they noted that Bryce took the view of defining what separated a man from a woman while I took the view of defining what separated a man from a boy. Let’s explore the difference between manhood and fatherhood and how I feel about Bryce’s focus on fatherhood in defining manhood.

Categories
culture religion

Wholesome Views on Modesty

The post: Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son got me thinking about how daughters should be taught about modesty and personal responsibility. Nate Pyle nailed the fact that boys need to take responsibility for their thoughts and actions with regard to women regardless of how the women dress.

Categories
culture thoughts

Commentary on “What is a Man (Again)”

Journey to Manhood
Photo by Rishi Bandopadhay

I was pleasantly surprised to hear JP and Bryce discuss my list of the Traits of Manhood on The Sons of Adam. Between their discussion of my list and their discussion of Bryce’s list the week before I am formulating three new posts that I hope to get feedback on as I further my definition of manhood. For today I’d like to share some of the thoughts I had as I listened to their podcast. (I had no forewarning that they were discussing my list and no preconceived notions of how it would be interpreted.) This post will touch only on those traits where I had thoughts in response to the podcast and will go in the order that those thoughts came.

Categories
culture

Communities Are a Subset of Networks

Build Community
Photo by Niall Kennedy

I have long been interested in the need for and value of communities and the fact that we have lost the value and sense of communities to a large degree in our modern society. I have said many times in private and even in public that most of our problems in society would be improved if not altogether eliminated by a revival of community life. Prior to reading Communities vs Networks however, I had never really paid attention to the specific similarities between networks and communities. After pondering the post however I would suggest that rather than networks and communities being on different ends of a continuum the reality is that communities are networks by definition even if most networks don’t rise to the level of community. Allow me to support that claim by sharing tweaked versions of the statements from that post which contract networks and communities:

  • Networks May Be Artificial, Top-Down; Communities Are Organic, Bottom-Up (originally “Networks Are…”)
  • Networks Allow Passivity and Consumption; Communities Require Action and Contribution (originally “Networks Encourage…”)
  • Networks Can Be Location Independent; Communities Are Usually Attached to a Place (added “Usually”)
  • Networks Often Divide a Person Into Parts; Communities Nurture the Whole Person (added “Often”)

Based on those statements a community would be defined as a network that functions organically, requires action and contribution, and nurtures the whole person and that such groups are usually attached to a place. The question in distinguising communities then isn’t whether the group is more like a community or more like a network. Rather, it is how much the particular network fits the definition of community.

Categories
culture life

O Remember, Remember

Cemetery
Photo by Jason John Paul Haskins

I drove through the cemetery last night at dusk to take flowers to the graves of deceased relatives for the first time in my life for Memorial Day and as I saw the balloons and flowers and the many other families doing the same I understood Memorial Day in my heart for the first time in my life.

Before yesterday I had understood in my head the purpose of Memorial Day – to honor those who have gone before, with a special emphasis on members of the armed forces who have sacrificed to preserve our liberty – but despite all the Memorial Day celebrations I’ve attended over the years it was all abstracted from my reality. I wrote about Memorial Day 6 years ago and my lack of connection to the holiday was painfully obvious when I reviewed that post today.

Categories
culture politics

Systemic Problems

2294406360_eb0c3fbb9d_b
Image by Jeremy Brooks

“You start out with a lack of due process, a lack of notice of what it is you’re accused of doing,” [Larry James] said. “A lack of adequate preparation. A lack of any rules to govern the process or procedure. So it just lends itself to abuse.” (The System by Jeff Benedict and Armen Keteyian ch 15 “The System at Work” – p. 216)

Larry James is talking about the NCAA enforcement process and the abuse he alludes to shows up in ways such as DeVier Posey being suspended for 10 games during his senior season at Ohio State because he was overpaid by $3 on a summer job (a suspension that would have ended at 5 games if he hadn’t challenged the original accusation that he was overpaid by $727 – double the suspension for being 0.4% guilty). Hopefully Mr. James isn’t personally aware that his statement was also perfectly describing the CPS investigation process.

Categories
culture

Saving Marriage

wedding ceremony Photo by Tom James

An article in the Deseret News about various efforts to make it harder to divorce led me to an article in Bloomberg View by Megan McArdle. The whole thing is worth reading but the part that got me thinking and writing was this:

The divorce laws of an earlier era were one part of a complex social institution with mutually reinforcing norms and a fairly elaborate system of punishments and rewards. People were encouraged to stay in marriages because divorce was difficult — but it is at least as important that divorce was heavily stigmatized. Even more important is the energy society spent encouraging people to get married in the first place — not just with the gauzy dreams of wedding gowns and perfect babies that help sustain the institution today, but also with a complicated system of carrots and sticks that have now completely vanished. Old maids were stigmatized; women who had babies out of wedlock were shunned. Marriage was the only socially permitted way to cohabit and, for that matter, often the only legal way to do so: Landlords didn’t like renting to people who were shacking up, and hotels that rented rooms to openly unmarried couples risked being indicted as brothels. On the positive side, getting married often meant a raise for a man, and for both parties, it constituted instant admission to adulthood. In short, the legal system of yesteryear didn’t have to worry that harsh divorce laws would discourage marriage entirely; any marriages that they did discourage probably shouldn’t have happened. But people would continue to get married, because there wasn’t any viable alternative for the majority of people who wanted to live on their own and raise a family without the neighbors talking — or calling the vice squad.

McArdle may be right in suggesting that making divorce harder could have unintended consequences but she has clearly identified many of the social supports we’ve kicked out that were never intended to bring the consequences that we are dealing with now.

Categories
culture Education thoughts

Open Prospective Longitudinal Study

Mind Research
Photo by: Chris Hope

I’ve been reading Triumphs of Experience and really coming to appreciate the value of prospective longitudinal studies. I’ll write a review of the book after I finish it (and I might finish as early as tonight). The limitations of this study are well known to researchers but despite those limitations the study has incredible value. Imagine the value of a study that didn’t have those limitations.