Tag: kids

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life

Invigorating

I worked 16 hours yesterday to finish a database transfer to a new server for a client. This morning – only a couple of hours after going to bed – life demanded that I be on duty again. We had a mouse in a mousetrap that I had to release (it was a glue trap so the mouse was essentially uninjured). I was not going to kill it with the kids around – especially when we live close enough to fields where we can release it. That was the beginning of things to do that prevented me from sleeping even so late as 8:00am. I put in another 2 1/2 hours configuring the server for our client before everything was in working order and then there were errands to run etc.

I’m sure that that kind of crunch time would be draining for most people (and sometimes it is for me), but I find that finishing a major project – even if that means working extreme hours – leaves me refreshed. I have the load of the project removed and when I work long hours to finish it I also look forward to taking some comp time later which means actual daytime hours to spend with my family or working on my own projects.

By the time today was done I had not only bought Christmas stockings for the whole family (which we have meant to do for years) but I had decorated them for each person in the family. Now I have comp time to take next week and Christmas stockings that I can enjoy for years to come.

Categories
life

Naps Are Evil

Going against ages of parental wisdom, I am prepared to declare that naps for children are evil. Really the problem is not naps, it is anything to do with sleeping (including not sleeping). The holiday seasons seems to bring out the worst aspects of sleeping for kids. If you don’t make some effort to control their sleeping schedule you will have no control over your own schedule. If you do what you can to ensure regularity in their sleeping patterns then you are severely punished when there is a deviation in that pattern.

When parents think of naps they think of something that lasts for some noticeable period of time (somewhere between 30 minutes and 3 hours depending on the child, their age, the weather, and any other relevant factors) but children seem biologically to define naps as anytime they close their eyes for longer than a blink. If I wake my children from a nap they cry, but they won’t go back to sleep. If they fall asleep in the car for even two minutes before I can get them home and in their beds they are fully recharged and won’t go back to sleep for at least 2 hours – no matter how far past their bedtime it is.

The really insidious thing about naps for children is that the children are in a state of constant flux. The schedule that worked so well for my infant or toddler all of last week may be totally useless today so I am constantly in a state of retraining. Then there is that unenviable period where the child is not quite able to handle a full day without a nap, but they are not tired until 2 hours before it’s time for bed.

Note – this is not really a frustrated rant though I’m sure it sounds like one. It is actually a collection of thoughts I’ve had as we have started the holiday schedule jockeying and I have reflected on the mirage of nap-time benefits from the past. I found the thoughts amusing and thought I’d share.

Categories
life

IKEA

Six months after the well-hyped grand opening I made my first visit to IKEA. I had heard many good things (and nothing negative) about IKEA from a variety of sources. The reason that I didn’t go to IKEA before was that I felt no need to go browsing through a bunch of stuff that would make me want to spend money. I was right – and wrong.

IKEA is not a Home Furnishings store as the building states so simply. It is a design philosophy, and a perspective about how we should live life.

I had heard about what great furniture they have – and they do, it’s just the kind of furniture that suits me. I had heard about the children’s play area that makes it possible for parents to shop without boring their kids. Two of my kids could not go there because of the “they must be potty trained” rule (which is perfectly reasonable) so we learned that it is actually fun for the kids to go shopping at IKEA too. My older daughters don’t know what they are missing by staying in the play area – and I don’t plan to tell them for a few more years.

What really sets IKEA apart from other manufacturers is that their understanding of life comes through in everything they do. All four wheels on their shopping carts rotate so you can move the cart in any direction and avoid the 20-point turnaround if you get in a tight spot. Their furniture is modular, so they don’t have to define how large a bookshelf you get to buy – you can just add 30 inch sections to your heart’s content. Everything they sell just begs to be used in real life, and not just in photo-shoots and movie-sets. And they sell all this furniture (which I would be tempted to pay premium prices for) at prices that compete with Walmart.

For people like me who like to design custom solutions it’s nice that I have more options than just taking my pick of what I see in the showroom. Some people might not like it, but I love the fact that I get to assemble the furniture myself after I get home.

In short, I don’t think I’ll even look at furniture at other stores in the future.

Categories
life

Bedtime Dynamics

As Savannah and Alyssa share a room we have a near nightly ritual where one gets mad at the other for some infraction of the Sisters Code of Conduct™ (at least on the nights where they don’t both test how many excuses they can find to leave their bedroom after bedtime). The result sometimes is that they will keep Mariah awake in the next room.

On many Saturdays we allow the girls to choose alternate sleeping arrangements for the night. Last night they chose to sleep on the couches in the family room. Mariah saw what was happening and decided that she wanted to be part of the sleepover. I thought it was worth the experiment so we let her sleep down there as well. I fully expected that we would be going down before 10:00 pm to move her back up to her room.

We didn’t hear a sound from any of them. At one point we went down to peek in and see if they had fallen asleep. What we discovered was that they were all playing very quietly and very nicely with each other. The older girls were sharing toys with Mariah and being nice to each other.

Now Laura and I are wondering how we can promote that kind of peaceful coexistence every night between the kids.

Categories
life

Needed: Waterless Bathing System

Someone needs to come up with a way to get kids clean without involving water or a bathroom. My kids have just used the necessity of a bath as an excuse to break every possible rule in the bathroom. Toothpaste behind the toilet, toilet paper down the sink and water, or the remnants of water, in various unwaterable places.

Truth be told, this is not really about bathing. It’s about a certain unnamed person who has decided after two months of nearly angelic behavior, in which no significant disciplinary action had been necessary, that it is time to find out if the rules will be enforced. This bathroom incident – in which not a single bathroom-related rule was left unbroken – is just one of many tests to see if we have just forgotten to apply the rules.

There was outward disappointment to discover that all privileges magically evaporated for the night. I doubt there will be very many more infractions before the inward rebel goes back into hibernation.

Categories
life

Faith of a Child

Kids are amazing. While I was running this morning I was thinking about what my 18 month-old daughter did last Sunday when I was at an early morning meeting. I again realized what an impressive feat it was.

When I got home from the meeting Laura told me that Mariah had waited on the couch for me for over half an hour. She just sat there, watching out the window, waiting for me to come home. She probably thought I was running – which is usually the case when I am gone before she wakes up – and fully expected to see me running down the street towards the house. Occasionally she would ask Laura to tuck the blanket in around her, but she was content to wait for my return. She almost made it too.

As I thought about it I wondered how often I don’t do as well at waiting for others (my children for example) as my daughter did at waiting for me. How often do I fail to display the kind of faith that she displayed that everything would be as she wanted it to be if only she gave it the necessary time.

Categories
life

New Words

My third daughter is at that stage of development where she is coming up with new words at an incredible rate. It has been fun to see her language blossom so that she is using words more and more, rather than pointing and other non-verbal signals. She has always been good at communicating her desires, but it’s fun to see the words coming.

Today I told her that we were going to visit Grandma for dinner and she said “Mogah.” She repeated it a few times and I figured out that she was saying “Grandma.” I said “Mimi,” which was the name our other girls used for grandma when they were young and she said “Mimi.” She now has two words for Grandma. It was a big surprise for Mom and Grandma when we got there for dinner and they heard her call out “Mogah.” Even though they had not heard it before, they knew exactly what she meant.

Categories
life

The New Zone

Just before I started this job I posted some predictions of how it the new situation would affect the members of my family. After four months I think we have settled into a new comfort zone where the real effects can be seen. I said that Laura would have a hard time with the change since she was still adjusting to having four kids. She has done very well and has discovered that it is actually nicer for her to have me working outside the home because she is not tempted to ask for my help when she doesn’t really need it. I was right that Savannah and Alyssa would just roll with this change and of course that Isaac would not notice the difference.

I had predicted that Mariah would have the hardest time with it. I may have been right, but if so it was by unnoticable degrees. The whole thing was very easy on all of us. The fun fact of the matter is that Mariah seems to have made a game of saying goodbye to me every morning. It’s almost as much fun for her to say goodbye in the morning as it is to yell “Daddyyyy” when I get home. She says goodbye to me every time I put on a jacket or a pair of gloves. She seems very secure in a world where coming and going are okay. She is still very much a daddy’s girl but she is not afraid to let me go and do things because she trusts that I will come back. I really did not know if she would be old enough to make that adjustment so smoothly.

Categories
culture life

Anxiously Engaged

I have been weighed down today by all the things that I want to be doing in the near future, and more specifically with how many of those things conflict (time-wise) with each other. As I pondered this little frustration I thought of the doctrine:

For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; (Doctrine and Covenants 58:26-27)

As I look at my life and my schedule I start to wonder at that because it feels sometimes like I am being commanded in all things, or more accurately like I am not given any time to do any things of my own free will. Sundays are scheduled with church, but also the commandment to avoid secular work on that day, Monday through Friday are filled all day with earning a living for my family and the evenings are:

  • Monday – reserved for family night
  • Tuesday – reserved for the scouts (my calling, thus a command)
  • Wednesday – I try to go to the temple monthly so I now have 3 evenings per month to do things of my own free will
  • Thursday – monthly meeting for scouts leaves 3 more evenings per month
  • Friday – I should spend some time cultivating my marriage by taking time alone with my wife but that conflicts with irregular camping trips with the scouts so that adds up to -1 evening per month.

Saturdays would appear to be my golden free time but that is often booked with the morning after a scout camp, or a Saturday church meeting. The end result is that in any given month I have possibly 5 evenings and 3 days per month do do things of my own free will – so long as I take care of my house and family, do my home teaching, and make sure I do not neglect any of my own needs (like the occasional haircut or some Elder’s Quorum project) during those same 3 days and 5 evenings.

I would begin to despair over the situation if I did not suspect that part of my problem is the stage my family is in with four young children which is a naturally time-consuming, and draining situation. Thankfully I also look up the doctrinal reference that I quoted earlier and find that there is another verse to complete the second sentence and add a third, very hopeful, sentence:

For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.(Doctrine and Covenants 58:28)

I’m counting on the “nowise [losing my] reward” because I am sure that I am doing good with the time I have, even if I wish there were more available.

Categories
life

The Game of Life

Last night I had a very interesting dream about a computer program called “Life” or “The Game of Life.” This was not the one that some people have heard of where cells live or die based on some mathematical rules although it was similar in some ways. To “play” the game I was given a controller which I could configure for 30 to 60 seconds. After that point the game started and ran according to the internal rules without further regard to the status of the controller. In my dream version the game was played out in a virtual house with a lot of very interesting people – they reminded me of the family from You Can’t Take It With You. After wandering the house and observing the characters for half an hour I decided to leave the game.

I went home and learned from my wife that at the time I started the game strange things began happening at home. I soon discovered that this was true as very odd things began happening around our home – for example, we were visted by a virtual character who looked like my best friend. I realized that this game was not as innocent as it had appeared. I was forced to take comfort in the thought, when I attained a state of minimal consciousness in my sleep, that this was all a dream and that when I woke up there would be no intrusions from this so-called game of life.

Finally at 5:45 my wife woke me up so that I could go feed our son, Isaac, for his early feeding. As I got out of bed I noticed that the lights were on downstairs. I assumed that our oldest daughter, Savannah, was having one of her early mornings and was awake downstairs. That’s when things started to get weird on me again. While I was standing on the landing I heard Isaac cry and realized that he was not in his room. He was in the workroom next to his bedroom. I feared that Savannah had taken it upon herself to lift him out of bed and carry him to the next room.

I went downstairs to fix a bottle for Isaac and that is when I discovered that Savannah was not awake – although all the lights were on downstairs. I began to wonder if someone had come into our house. That didn’t make sense considering that nothing was missing, not even any of the computers in the office (where the lights were also on). I finally went back to my bedroom and shook Laura awake to ask if she knew anything about Isaac or the lights. It turns out that she had been awake with Isaac and Savannah during the two or three hours before she woke me up. She had moved Isaac and Savannah had turned on the lights downstairs.

The mystery was solved, but I had been wrong in my dream – the weird occurances had not stopped when I woke up. This really was “the game of life.”