truth – The Zion Chronicle

The Case for Telling the Truth

Perhaps it would be better to say that this is the case for tellling “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” After months and months of watching the various arguments for and against Proposition 8 in California – which would define marriage as being between a man and a woman – I finally spoke up. I could no longer sit silent while people on both sides of the debate obscured the truth of what was to be decided.

The way this is the case for telling the truth is that one side received all the benefit as both sides argued about related obscurities that were all false to one degree or another. Those opposing Prop. 8 claim that the measure was designed to institutionalize discrimination. They benefit from this because of the emotional reaction that good people have to the idea of discrimination. When the proponents of Prop. 8 focus their arguments on the secondary effects of legalizing gay marriage, using fear as their tool in place of truth the opponents can easily counter with the idea that the repurcussions of this action will not have a ripple effect citing the fact that gay marriage has already been legal for months (and naturally within those few months we would already be seeing the side effects of such a monumental social change as redefining the primary unit of society).

If the advocates for Prop. 8 would stick to publishing the truth of their position and defending themselves accurately against the false claims of discrimination their opponents would not be able to obscure the real issue as effectively as they have been able to do. The voters would be left to decide on the issue of whether marriage is a construct of man or something more eternal in nature. If the issue were decided based on the real argument then it would almost not matter the outcome of the vote – the people would be declaring where they stand on the issue and the debate would serve as an opportunity to teach the truth.

As it stands, the debate has circled around the central issue and been hijacked by half-truths and high emotions. The people of California will decide the issues based on viceral reactions rather than honest or clear belief. Many will make a choice that they honestly do not understand and cannot be fully held accountable for that choice which means the issue will undoubtedly be revisited without the benefit of so many people already understanding what it being decided.

Laura and I were talking while we were driving today and it got me thinking about a truth that I had recognized a couple of years ago. As I reflected on my own personal growth in a variety of areas, and in consequence of a recent change that I had made at the time, I realized that real personal improvement – the kind that lasts – is not a result of sheer willpower. Real, lasting improvement is a matter of some inner change that is not entirely within our control. We certainly have some influence because we are not going to make a change to improve ourselves if we do not have any desire to improve, but desire alone is not enough. My recognition of this was solidified two years ago when I actually recognized my brain making that quantum shift as it occurred.

I was driving between Columbia Missouri and St. Louis nearly 2 years ago and the thought passed through my brain, “Why are you driving so fast, you have nothing to prove to anyone. In fact, you are strong enough to drive the speed limit even if other people are passing you.” I slowed down and have driven the speed limit ever since – even on the roads where the speed limit seems slower than it should be. (The exception was when I was going to the hospital for the birth of my fourth child – Laura told me to speed. The hospital is a 20 minute drive from our house. Isaac was born less than an hour after we arrived at the hospital.)

This change was not the result of a goal, or persistence on my part. I have a basic desire to obey the law. I was conscious that I had held the speed limit in low esteem (except school zones). But I was not actively working to quit speeding. I admit that normally I find that this change of self occurs in relation to something that I am actively working to change, but the change is something that I cannot control.

I have heard it said that if you can keep a habit for a given period of time or a given number of repetitions then it will be established. I think that repetition makes things easier, but real change (the religious term would be conversion) is where your very nature is changed such that the old habit no longer applies. It is the reverse of therapy by which you become changed through the changing of your habits. This is where your habits change because you have changed. That type of change is not strictly a matter of willpower and repetition.