Categories
life thoughts

My Top Books for a Personal Library

Book corner
Photo by: Islxndis

JP and Bryce did a podcast on building a man’s library (almost 5 months ago – and I just finished listening to it). In the podcast they had top-5 lists from four people plus two more books from a fifth person and they invited listeners to compile their own top-5 lists.

Before I share my top-5 list I’d like to say that I really liked how their focus wasn’t about promoting some definitive list but on talking about how and why to develop a library of books based on your own values and interests. Considering that core message I want to share my thoughts on the lists they shared (as a point of reference) and how I chose my list (especially considering that I had the benefit of listening to the podcast and hearing the lists that were already shared there).

Categories
culture

Responsibility as the Core of Manliness

Manly Ideals
Photo by Meg Stewart

In February I asked this question: “What one word most closely encapsulates what it means to be a man?” In my mind the word was “responsibility” and while there were other good responses to the question they all fell in that same vein. When JP and Bryce first began reviewing lists of the essential traits of manhood on the Sons of Adam podcast I noticed that JP kept calling out how the various traits each came down to a man taking some form of responsibility.

After comparing my list with Bryce’s list and again after JP’s list was discussed, I decided that I would like to call out the element of responsibility in each item of each list. I’ll explain and group items together as it seems appropriate.

Categories
culture life

JPs list

The Sons of Adam podcast this week covered JP’s list of the traits of manhood. I thought it was a good list which helps me further flesh out my understanding of what defines a man. I’m recording JP’s list here for future reference because I expect to come back and review it and to use it in some upcoming posts.

I don’t intend to offer any commentary on JP’s list here but I am going to publicly encourage JP to get a blog where he can share his thoughts directly anytime he has thoughts that he thinks deserve more than passing consideration. It would be a great complement to the podcast.

JP’s List

  1. Become an adult i.e. a responsible, productive member of society
  2. Develop a manly attitude: including
    • reverence for motherhood and womanhood
    • defaults to:
      • rejecting passivity
      • accepting responsibility
      • leading courageously
  3. Become a protector i.e. stand in front and take the brunt of uncertainty—providing safety for others, especially your family
  4. Become a provider: men HAVE to work. (Of course the quantity and type of work may be dependent upon physical and/or intellectual limitations for each individual.)
  5. Become a patriarch for your family
    • spiritual leader of your home
    • the one who directs the work of the priesthood in the home
Categories
culture

Fatherhood vs Manhood

Manhood Ideals
Photo by Jim Larrison

When Bryce and JP reviewed Bryce’s list of “what makes a man a man” I found myself thinking that Bryce’s list felt narrow in that it seemed to focus on fatherhood as if a man isn’t a man unless he is a father. My gut reaction was that a man can be a man (even a good man) without ever being a father or even wishing to be a father. The difference between my thinking and Bryce’s was made clear when my list was discussed on the podcast and they noted that Bryce took the view of defining what separated a man from a woman while I took the view of defining what separated a man from a boy. Let’s explore the difference between manhood and fatherhood and how I feel about Bryce’s focus on fatherhood in defining manhood.

Categories
culture thoughts

Commentary on “What is a Man (Again)”

Journey to Manhood
Photo by Rishi Bandopadhay

I was pleasantly surprised to hear JP and Bryce discuss my list of the Traits of Manhood on The Sons of Adam. Between their discussion of my list and their discussion of Bryce’s list the week before I am formulating three new posts that I hope to get feedback on as I further my definition of manhood. For today I’d like to share some of the thoughts I had as I listened to their podcast. (I had no forewarning that they were discussing my list and no preconceived notions of how it would be interpreted.) This post will touch only on those traits where I had thoughts in response to the podcast and will go in the order that those thoughts came.

Categories
life thoughts

Traits of Manhood

A Soldier is Welcomed to Kenya by a Young Child
Photo from UK Ministry of Defence

A discussion about Rites of Manhood on the Sons of Adam podcast concluded with a challenge to come up with a list of defining traits for mature manhood. What I expected to take an hour or two of thinking took much longer.

The Challenge

At first it seemed straightforward to try to make a list of manly traits. As I tried to do that I realized that I had to decide what I was listing. Traits that are consistent with manhood include traits that are simply part of being an adult whether male or female (like taking responsibility) while other traits that are consistent with manhood are traits that are natural to males whether they have achieved manhood or not (such as a proclivity for physical exertion).

Others may choose differently than I did but I chose to approach this from the perspective of what traits I would seek to instill in boys in order for them to achieve manhood. This means that my list more closely aligns with a list of traits that are consistent with being an adult than with a list of masculine tendencies. I did try to define how each of these traits is important as it relates to being genuinely manly.

The order of the traits listed is simply the order in which they coalesced in my thinking.