In a mere seven sentences, the latter part of this article exposes how a culture of promiscuity constitutes a real war on women in four points.
In work done by sociologist Paula England, more than half of college women surveyed reported feeling less respected by men after casual sex. Meanwhile, college men are less interested than women in a relationship both before and after sex. In addition, more women reported highly unsatisfying sexual encounters, often feeling that they were treated as sexual objects by the men involved.
Yet they continued to have casual sex anyway, because when the cost of sex is low, women feel enormous pressure to give in. Many men even expect this–so much so that survey data indicate 3-5 percent of college women are victims of rape or attempted rape every year.
Yet the victimization doesn’t end there. When contraception fails, whether after consensual casual sex or an alcohol-fueled dorm-rape, men turn to abortion as a way to mitigate their responsibility.
Let’s go beyond my initial “well, duh” reaction and explore the why behind and the implications coming from each of these points.
College women reported feeling less respected by men after casual sex.
Not much to say here. Having sex itself doesn’t give a man any extra reason to respect a woman and casual sex is much more likely to take place before the things have happened that would build his respect for her. If he didn’t respect her before they had sex he won’t respect her after and if he did actually respect her before they had sex he might respect her after.
Women reported highly unsatisfying sexual encounters, often feeling that they were treated as sexual objects by the men involved.
This is actually related to the first point. It seems to be generally understood that when it comes to sex men become aroused and sexually satisfied much faster than women. For men, sex seems to be a fairly predictable experience from one man to the next (at least if the sexual satisfaction pathways in his brain haven’t been altered by porn exposure – then all bets are off as far as I’m concerned) but for women sex is about far more than the physical act. Physically it takes longer for women to be sexually satisfied and men who aren’t committed to a single woman (and who find that sex is easy to come by) have no incentive to put in extra work after they have been satisfied in order to satisfy the woman they are with – that’s going to mean they leave the women unsatisfied. In addition to the physical side, there is an emotional component of sex which women are more attuned to than men. Without that component being addressed a woman will simply not be fully satisfied with a sexual encounter and casual sex is, by definition, short on the emotional component. (Note to any married men who haven’t figured this out yet – just because you’re married to her doesn’t mean that the emotional component of intimacy has been fully addressed at any given time for your wife.)
They continued to have casual sex anyway, because when the cost of sex is low, women feel enormous pressure to give in.
Historically the cost of uncommitted sexual activity has naturally fallen much more heavily on women than on men. To illustrate how disproportianate the costs are imagine this scenario set in the roaring 20’s. John Smith and Mary Brown travel from their respective rural homes seeking work in a distant city where they meet and have sex. Afterwards they go their separate ways without knowing much about the other person except that they had fun for a night.
The cost to John is perhaps as much as dinner, drinks, and a hotel room. His risk is a fairly low probability of contracting a disease. In this relatively anonymous encounter away from home his reputation doesn’t even risk being tarnished regardless of the morals of society around him. His reward is one night of carnal pleasure. Calculation: there’s little to stop him if such an opportunity presents itself.
The up front cost to Mary is potentially nothing. Her risk is also a fairly low probability of contracting a disease along with the possibility that her actions that night could become known and destroy her reputation for her whole life (depending on the morals of those around her) as well to place a child in her care for a couple of decades. Her reward is still one night of carnal pleasure. Calculation: how much does she really care for John?
By removing the social stigma of unbounded sexual activity and claiming that contraceptives mitigate all the other potential costs (both disease and pregnancy) of sexual openness, those who advocate for loose sexual morals send the message that the appropriate cost for sex is closer to the cost that men have personally felt historically rather than being closer to the cost that women have felt historically. That is simply not true but when that is the prevailing message women will tend to make their calculations based on that artificially low cost. The pressure to give in comes from men who, like many men before them, are also calculating based on an unacceptably low valuation of sex. (See The Economics of Sex – embedded at the end of this post – for a discussion of how we make these kinds of calculations as individuals and societies.)
When contraception fails men turn to abortion as a way to mitigate their responsibility.
I take exception to one word of that point. “Men” don’t turn to abortion (or anything else) to mitigate their responsibility. Males who do that are called “moyn” in my book. They don’t qualify as men, and they can only hope to grow into men some day. Men would turn to the women they have compromised and offer to shoulder as much of the burden as possible from the result of their actions whether that means getting married, paying child support, or helping arrange an adoption. The only way an abortion happens to the baby of a man is if the woman insists on an abortion even after he makes every attempt to offer her alternatives. If he even suggests an abortion he’s a moy.
Moyn who engage in casual sex may see abortion as the easy way out and pressure their victims into getting one. This is further evidence of why society should be putting more pressure on males to take responsibility rather than looking for more ways to offer them an out after they act irresponsibly.