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life thoughts

Attack the Hills


photo credit: OldOnliner

Once upon a time I was a member of my high school cross country team. On the last race I ran with the team (end of the season) I learned a very valuable lesson about running. We had gone over the course in advance of the race so during the race I knew where I was relative to the end of the race – I knew how much further I had to go and how much energy to put in so that I would not run out before the finish line. As I came to the last long incline before the end of the race I knew that I could push myself and I decided to attack the hill. I was a short distance behind another runner, perhaps 15 yards, and I knew that I was in tenth place overall. As I attacked that hill I quickly closed the gap and overtook him shortly before the course turned and went down a steep incline to the final flat to the finish line. As I passed him, he sped up, not wanting to lose a place. I was still ahead when I got to the edge of the hill and I stretched my stride and let gravity carry me down faster than I could have sprinted and certainly faster than I could have gone if I had tried to remain in control of my pace. I got going so fast down that hill that my momentum on the flat carried me to very quickly catch up with two more runners who had not even been in sight when I started attacking a the bottom of that last hill.

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life thoughts

Not Enough


photo credit: garlandcannon

Sometimes I find myself feeling stuck in life; feeling that no matter what I do I have no real meaningful choices. I have described it as having, in any decision, a choice that is blatantly obvious (like deciding whether or not to wreck my car), or a choice that is meaningless (like deciding between Cheerios and Rice Krispies for breakfast).

Laura has asked me before if I have ever prayed for options and the answer is that I have with the result that I have still never felt like I had a real choice. Either the way was clear or the choice was inconsequential. As I thought about the feeling of impotence that comes with seeing no alternatives, no options to choose from, I realized that I was wrong about never having any options – especially in times that I have prayed for options. There have been plenty of instances where the choices really were black and white such that I would never take one of the options presented (wrecking my car for instance). The other times that I have felt stifled I realize that there are two different types of situations. First is when I have desired something only to be guided away from it. The second is when I have desired to do something and the answer from the spirit when I ask about pursuing it has essentially been “what are you willing to give for it?” The answer has virtually always been “not enough” or at least “not enough for the price that would likely be required.”

Anytime I am called upon to do something I am willing to do do whatever is necessary to complete the task but whenever I am left to choose my own direction I am unwilling to take significant risks for something I feel is entirely of my own choosing. That makes it sound like I don’t trust my own judgment, or that I don’t trust that I will be supported in my own choices.

There have been times when I have been willing to give enough but in the two cases that I can clearly recall – one resulted in me getting what I worked for on something that, so far as I can see, is transitory and unimportant while the other resulted in me putting in a lot of effort and making a lot of progress before I was instructed to abandon the pursuit (at least temporarily – maybe I have not seen the end of that yet).

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life thoughts

Dear Eyring Family

Do you know how much people watch you?

Of course you are Eyrings and with that I guess you would have to expect that people would pay attention to what you do just because of your parentage. But are you aware of how much you are watched not because of who your parents are, but because of who your children are and because of the choices you have made about who you will be?

I can only speak for myself, but I pay attention every time I see your van on the street – watching to see who is driving and how happy they usually are. When I see the van parked somewhere I stay alert for the opportunity to see the Eyrings going about their daily lives.

Why do I do this? Because unlike so many, you have chosen to have more than three children. Unlike so many, you have chosen to have mother stay at home and devote her full energy to raising the children. Unlike most that we know who fall into the previous categories, you have some children old enough for us to get a good glimpse of how they have or will turn out. It is because of some of your older children that I pay attention to your family.

I have been blessed to see one of your daughters regularly as a Sunday School teacher. I am under no illusion that she is perfect, or that there is something about her that cannot be achieved by any young woman who is well taught at home, but I could clearly see through those interactions that she is the kind of young woman that I would hope for my daughters to grow up and be like – intelligent, affable, and good.

I have not known any of your sons so intimately as that but I have observed and clearly see that the oldest of your sons is clearly among the good examples of young men whom I hope my sons will emulate as they grow older. Like the sister I know best, he seems intelligent, affable, and good.

You stand out because your children are very good. Their goodness is a testament to the value of having a mother who knows that the greatest good she can do is to be fully engaged in raising the children rather than being lured out into working in order to provide some extra material goods.

Your children stand out, not because they are perfect, or even better than all the other youth around them, but because they have turned out so well while being raised with many siblings rather than few – and that gives me hope that our children may turn out to be very good even though we have chosen not to stop at three or four. It is because I have seen the results of your efforts that I watch in case I can learn any clues about what you do, and also to give me comfort that your have done so well even facing similar challenges to what we find ourselves facing.